Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

klpryde

Search for a member

klpryde
  • Town/Country : Boston, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 February 1986 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 2448
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

klpryde's last visitors

kayla_f_babyyy

klpryde's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

klpryde's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57158) - you deserved it (6893)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML

#4370126
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51481) - you deserved it (15694)

On 08/07/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Momlovesme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML

#4343153
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57985) - you deserved it (2503)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:41pm - work - by smiletellsall (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found what I assumed was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opened it, I was greeted by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. FML

#4332975
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46828) - you deserved it (4164)

On 08/06/2009 at 11:40am - misc - by daddysboy123 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

#4326730
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45618) - you deserved it (15400)

On 08/06/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

#4137553
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49274) - you deserved it (20345)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

#4081805
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55905) - you deserved it (2357)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn't even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML

Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML

#3646272
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55339) - you deserved it (3535)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)

Today, I planned a romantic dinner with rose petals, the whole lot, for my ex-girlfriend to win her back. When I took her to my house I told her to guess what I had planned, to which she replied "I hope it's not a stupid romantic dinner with rose petals and shit." FML

#3331987
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45535) - you deserved it (11606)

On 06/29/2009 at 2:31am - love - by ipopnlok (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77545) - you deserved it (5313)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall, when a homeless man came in mumbling to himself. Out of the 7 available urinals, he posted up at the one right beside me. Apparently he didn't get the memo that urinals aren't used to shit in. He talked to me the entire time. About his love life. FML

#2740544
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59407) - you deserved it (3508)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:13pm - misc - by blah (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML

#2720820
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46165) - you deserved it (3974)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Marie (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

#2116644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60027) - you deserved it (3273)

On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: