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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27725) - you deserved it (10478)
On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7661) - you deserved it (25937)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:01am - work - by E.S. (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I took a smoke break at work and I noticed a huge zit on my face. I used the reflection from a window to take care of the problem and then realized that there was a staff meeting taking place on the other side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7372) - you deserved it (24981)
On 10/22/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by JC (man) - United States (California)
Today, I texted my brother saying "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he answered: "You better not be doing drugs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19512) - you deserved it (8083)
On 10/21/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by Lovelysister (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20312) - you deserved it (8362)
On 10/21/2009 at 12:07am - love - by wtfrelationship (man) - Singapore
Today, I microwaved a cup of soup. While walking back to my desk to eat and do homework, I noticed a message that said, "WARNING: Hold cup by sides, as lid may not be secure." At that exact moment, the lid that I was holding fell off and the soup drenched my Nintendo DS, and printer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7878) - you deserved it (26431)
On 10/20/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by Omi (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was out for a nice walk and saw a man being attacked by a large crowd. Instinctively I ran to help him. I pushed one "thug" off him and that little time allowed him to escape. I later found out the man I saved had just keyed someone's car and they had intervened. Guess whose car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31400) - you deserved it (7784)
On 10/18/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by Helpy (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32983) - you deserved it (193)
On 10/18/2009 at 12:06am - work - by booste (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out that if you let your son install a new shower head, he won't tighten it properly. So when you turn the shower on, it will shoot out at rocket speed, hitting you in the face. Then when you grab the shower handle to prevent yourself falling backwards, you will just rip that out and hit your head again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26068) - you deserved it (4093)
On 10/16/2009 at 10:38pm - misc - by Ndanick1193 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21433) - you deserved it (2288)
On 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm - health - by Rob - Sent from mobile version
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33379) - you deserved it (1667)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:16pm - animals - by traumatised (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47201) - you deserved it (23947)
On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (2337)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (124078) - you deserved it (4826)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had my friend Mark over for dinner. My Dad asked him what his dad did for a living. We all squirmed a bit when he told us that his dad died last year. We all went about finishing our meal when suddenly my dad says: "I'm sorry, Mark, what did you say your dad did for a living again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43658) - you deserved it (1985)
On 08/25/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by youzabadgirl12 - United States (South Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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