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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 February 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 942
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About klonopin_ftw : My name is Alexander. I like to leave funny comments. Enjoy.

klonopin_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>TheHardBoiled</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 1:19am<b>stricker30</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 1:16am<b>plastix</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 5:44pm<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 2:49pm<b>moldypickles</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 8:03pm<b>manthymonkey</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 2:06am<b>misterjg540</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 8:45am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 10:41pm<b>hsll332</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 11:52am<b>colourm3fab</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:40pm<b>nwaugh72</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 12:59pm<b>spencer4148</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 11:25pm<b>han5301</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 11:52pm<b>omgsomeonejust</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 9:42pm<b>HeatherFeatherB</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 12:00am<b>drayloon</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:35am<b>billionair11</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:54am<b>Vman1702</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 6:48am

klonopin_ftw's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

klonopin_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

by mottephobe / 04/06/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

by oc_cheergirl / 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2011 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love

Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML

by Imslow / 04/05/2011 at 12:40pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

by Abyssal / 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML

by arbiter3 / 04/04/2011 at 6:13am / Kids

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

by Nate / 03/31/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

by kingpin7 / 03/30/2011 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy