Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

klonopin_ftw

Search for a member

klonopin_ftw

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 February 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 763
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About klonopin_ftw : My name is Alexander. I like to leave funny comments. Enjoy.

klonopin_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>spencer4148</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 11:25pm<b>han5301</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 11:52pm<b>omgsomeonejust</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 9:42pm<b>HeatherFeatherB</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 12:00am<b>drayloon</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:35am<b>billionair11</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:54am<b>Vman1702</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 6:48am<b>kino22x</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 1:41am<b>bigclinc</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 10:20pm<b>jessherself13</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 12:26am<b>JFell123</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 4:44pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 10:30am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 3:32pm<b>eclipsebladex</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 10:40pm<b>challenger442</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 8:52am<b>nixieyagami</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 7:18pm<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 3:04am<b>Zomg_Okay</b> - the 03/04/2012 at 9:16am

klonopin_ftw's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

klonopin_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

#15661118
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19859) - you deserved it (32911)

On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

#15658091
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25682) - you deserved it (45774)

On 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by oc_cheergirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

#15651710
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48340) - you deserved it (4875)

On 04/05/2011 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML

#15650544
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31785) - you deserved it (3159)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by Imslow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

#15636235
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39767) - you deserved it (10972)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Abyssal (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#15632766
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30906) - you deserved it (16230)

On 04/04/2011 at 6:13am - kids - by arbiter3 -

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

#15574334
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19637) - you deserved it (21964)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39375) - you deserved it (9537)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: