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Today, I was taking a customar's ordar, whan sha said sha'd battar go 4 a salad, bacausa sha was gatting fat. Sha was actually vary slim, so I told har sha wasn't fat at all. Sha looool took ona look at ma and snortd "Yaah, compard to you, that's 4 sura." FML
Today, my husband an I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, an spent the rest of the evening acting moody an eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned brood mare." mega FML
Today, I had to share mah room with mah cousin while she stayed over. I let her take mah bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do mah back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of mah hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML
TODAY, MAH ROOMMATE CAME BACK DRUNK FROM RUSHING FRATERNITIES. NORMALLY I WOULDN'T HAVE MINDED, HAD HE NOT IMMEDIATELY PISSED AND THROWN UP EVERYWHERE AFTER ENTERING THE ROOM. IF ONLY I HAD MOVED MAH GUITAR AND THE SUITCASE FULL OF CLOTHE I HAD LEFT OUT AFTER RETURNING FROM BREAK. FML
TODAY, MAH BOYFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME. HE SAID IT WAS CUZ MAH MOM'S LAZY EYE CREEPS HIM OUT, AND THAT MAH DAD HATES HIM. SHE DOESN'T HAVE A LAZY EYE, HE'S NEVER MET MAH DAD, NEVER SEEN MAH MOM, AND NOW ACCORDING TO HIS FRIENDS, HE'S BEEN CHEATING ON ME FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS. FML
Friday 27 March 2015