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kkerner's favorite FMLs
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
by chase / 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML
by maybe dead in a day / 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for 6 weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in 2 weeks. FML
by bleh / 11/23/2009 at 5:29pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
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- Today, after being lost for 3 hours outside with low battery, and finally regaining signal, an old… Today, at my oldest sisters wedding she forgot something borrowed. she looked at me and said if I'm… Today, I stayed out late to celebrate my last night before going back to school. Though I normally…
- Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…