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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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kkacanek

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kkacanek
  • Town/Country : Waukesha, WI/ Galesburg, IL, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1185
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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kkacanek's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How is the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804 (331)

I agree, your life sucks (7725) - you deserved it (74747)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

#12097441 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (13974) - you deserved it (4446)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:13am - work - by longday (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while having sex for our first time, my boyfriend decided to test out a theory he heard about, that conversation during sex makes it more enjoyable. His way of doing it? He looked me straight in the eye and asked "How 'bout them Brewers?" We're from Wisconsin. That's our local sports team. FML

#12037742 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (22169) - you deserved it (3342)

On 07/22/2010 at 1:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML

#12008337 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (8784) - you deserved it (48689)

On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (9529) - you deserved it (31175)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

#11994829 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (30485) - you deserved it (2659)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627 (285)

I agree, your life sucks (73374) - you deserved it (3572)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I called my dad at his new wife's house to inform him I was all set to graduate from community college with my associates degree and that we needed to sit down and plan how to pay for the 4 year degree. To which he replied "all a girl needs is an associates degree". Thanks dad. FML

#9182520 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (20859) - you deserved it (3046)

On 03/18/2010 at 8:20am - money - by Anna (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as I was pulling out of the school parking lot I was blasting my music and feeling pretty awesome, I got a few honks and felt even cooler. Until some lady pulled up next to me and told me I had left my binder on the roof and all my papers were all over the road behind me. FML

#9138869 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (4884) - you deserved it (24712)

On 03/16/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by Midge (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

#9134827 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (6334) - you deserved it (23647)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by splitzville (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML

#9105957 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (3789) - you deserved it (16409)

On 03/15/2010 at 4:12pm - misc - by katharine (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was ‘This is less work and less involving.’ FML

#9100047 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (12718) - you deserved it (2902)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my boss fired me because "I didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML

#8837670 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (14840) - you deserved it (2183)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:23am - work - by koletatlow19 - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (13483) - you deserved it (7694)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

#8763974 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (14472) - you deserved it (3760)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by sleeper - Sent from mobile version