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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22271) - you deserved it (54098)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (168603) - you deserved it (8585)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29251) - you deserved it (210152)
On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44410) - you deserved it (2307)
On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67599) - you deserved it (15909)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62316) - you deserved it (2889)
On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I walked past a girl in the cafeteria and she threw up. Naturally, a crowd was drawn. Her friend asked her what was wrong. She pointed at me and said, "Get him away from me!" I had never met this girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31037) - you deserved it (1490)
On 02/04/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by disgusting (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31115) - you deserved it (5844)
On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4547) - you deserved it (44277)
On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4486) - you deserved it (36122)
On 01/26/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Timmy - Sent from mobile version
Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18888) - you deserved it (1097)
On 01/21/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by mat - Sent from mobile version
Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4715) - you deserved it (13896)
On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version
Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after the party from the night before, which contained lots of booze and very spicy (indian) food. I wake up and notice a small boy on the seat in front staring at me, I smile at him, and then he turns to his father and says: "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12249) - you deserved it (5091)
On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version
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