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Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28568) - you deserved it (94423)
Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33109) - you deserved it (2019)
On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17073) - you deserved it (48206)
On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, I learned the hard way that if you're going to pour bleach on bugs to kill them, you need to be prepared for them to fly up and try to attack your face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7056) - you deserved it (27833)
On 11/21/2010 at 12:39am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23936) - you deserved it (21397)
On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26599) - you deserved it (3008)
On 02/05/2010 at 12:35am - love - by boostedsaab - Sent from mobile version
Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11061) - you deserved it (4229)
On 10/22/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ItsFunnyNow (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, it started raining unexpectedly. My daughter and I didn't have an umbrella, so my daughter raised one of my big flabby arms and put it over her head to protect her from the rain. It worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19700) - you deserved it (30654)
On 07/13/2009 at 7:30am - health - by letsloseweight (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36790) - you deserved it (9975)
On 05/23/2009 at 8:16pm - love - by CastAway (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61117) - you deserved it (6678)
On 04/22/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40568) - you deserved it (6412)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39733) - you deserved it (11218)
On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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