About kjcamaro3 : I have no clue how to send a message on this thing
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29692) - you deserved it (2043)
On 03/30/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29219) - you deserved it (1641)
On 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by grandson of a p.o.s. (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23633) - you deserved it (3643)
On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20267) - you deserved it (6503)
On 01/14/2012 at 1:52am - intimacy - by haggisbowl - United States
Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39565) - you deserved it (2864)
On 01/06/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24359) - you deserved it (1930)
On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28213) - you deserved it (2129)
On 01/01/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by tooearly (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20992) - you deserved it (5512)
On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15014) - you deserved it (191838)
On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26060) - you deserved it (3917)
On 08/24/2011 at 7:34am - love - by fmlTGOD - United States
Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33435) - you deserved it (3122)
On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29850) - you deserved it (3399)
On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my math teacher told me to learn how to say "welcome to wal-mart". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29350) - you deserved it (8100)
On 06/18/2010 at 3:13am - work - by Stevo - United States (Washington)
Monday 17 June 2013
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