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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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kive

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kive
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  • Number of visits : 295
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kive's favorite FMLs

Today, I was informed by my doctor that my stomach lining is inflamed, causing me to vomit almost every time I eat. Oh, and I'm allergic to the only medication to treat it. FML

#5269249 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (45944) - you deserved it (1510)

On 09/15/2009 at 6:16am - health - by Dylan (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

#5228952 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (30597) - you deserved it (2880)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked. Then said "You know he can't swim right?" FML

#5044657 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (4949) - you deserved it (42474)

On 09/04/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by babydoll13211 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (6195) - you deserved it (23625)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, on a plane I was showing my brother the life jackets kept under the seat. After pulling on what I thought was the lifejacket, I then realized that they were kept in the arm rest to my right and for the last five minutes I had been pulling on the foot of the man who was sitting behind me. FML

#4826792 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (6573) - you deserved it (25157)

On 08/26/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (42990) - you deserved it (2238)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my friend Mark over for dinner. My Dad asked him what his dad did for a living. We all squirmed a bit when he told us that his dad died last year. We all went about finishing our meal when suddenly my dad says: "I'm sorry, Mark, what did you say your dad did for a living again?" FML

#4801141 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (41031) - you deserved it (1807)

On 08/25/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by youzabadgirl12 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML

#4645462 (307)

I agree, your life sucks (44165) - you deserved it (3288)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML

#4630669 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (74600) - you deserved it (4456)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (77133) - you deserved it (3091)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

#4359063 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (37802) - you deserved it (5758)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML

#4156114 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (37736) - you deserved it (2711)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by epicc1584 - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML

#4137470 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (45689) - you deserved it (1897)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by allocomrade (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML

#3737947 (405)

I agree, your life sucks (38719) - you deserved it (12046)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:58am - misc - by pkstarstorm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was helping my friend with her little sister's birthday party. We were playing a game where you get up and switch seats if you've done a certain thing. One girl said to switch if you've kissed a boy. I watched as 18 12-year-olds switched seats with each other. I stayed sitting. I'm 17. FML

#3457854 (310)

I agree, your life sucks (38627) - you deserved it (6090)

On 07/03/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by neverbeenkissed (woman) - United States (New York)