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About kittytalia : I'm... Myself. Hi
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, mah fiancé's parents visitd. I keep chickens 4 there eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cookd us dinner. When we returnd, we facd two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML
Yesterday, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year olds, one particularly bratty grl decided she didn't want to swim and lead the entre class to strike, leaving the pool empty and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML
Today, I was the frst one to wear the ugly corporate shrts we recieved. The people in my office-all of them guys were all saying that it looked a lot better than they thought it would. Later that day I went to the toilet an saw the shrt gapes open in front an you could see my boobs. FML
yesterday mah boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML
Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee . The employees told me that there was no more coffee . I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day . They had been yelling back the whole time . Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's . fat FML
Yesterday , I Was Mowing The Lawn Of My Brand New House , Located In A Very Nice Neighborhood (I Am A Hispanic Male) , An A Lady In Her Nice White Cadillac Drove Up An Asked Me , In Extremely Broken Spanish , If I Could Mow Her Lawn Too. FML
Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool!! I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean!! I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean!! I was in the kiddy pool!! real FML
Today , I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another , and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walks in. After a long , awkward pause , she says "I like your socks" and walks out. She is a teacher at my highschool. I have to see her everyday. FML
Today, I broke up with mah boyfriend. After three long weeks of him ignoring me and cancelling out on time we were supposed to spend with each other. He looked at me with the most confused look on his face. Then he says ''Are you serious? I was planning the perfect day to ask you to marry me'' FML
Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do u do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed looool and started to laugh. She was askinghere I worked. FML
Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead fir over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, ( She looks lyk she's sleeping ) and ( She's so cold. ) To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name fir three yeres. FML
Today , I was watching a movie with mah boyfriend an his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt gratefulhen I saw his father reaching fir the remote to fastforward past the scene. He puttd it into slowmotion. We watchd in silence fir about 3 minute before he managd to fix it. FML
Friday 27 March 2015