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kittylil

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kittylil

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Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 5:47pm<b>lottiebearx</b> - the 06/15/2012 at 4:23am<b>Not_High</b> - the 03/31/2012 at 2:24am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:42pm<b>blackninja747</b> - the 07/13/2010 at 6:57am<b>avalon24</b> - the 07/17/2009 at 3:42am

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kittylil's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29861) - you deserved it (22214)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML

#18202130
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45677) - you deserved it (6597)

On 11/09/2011 at 3:00pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I realized I have to choose between being unemployed or putting up with my perverted boss who desperately wants me. I'm a guy and so is he. FML

#18201321
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38472) - you deserved it (3132)

On 11/09/2011 at 12:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Romania (Mures)

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML

#18200183
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28866) - you deserved it (12181)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:27am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

#18198987
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36778) - you deserved it (3985)

On 11/09/2011 at 12:59am - love - by kdeeeceee - United States

Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML

#18198042
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29243) - you deserved it (2315)

On 11/08/2011 at 11:06pm - work - by midwesternpetclerk - United States

Today, I took a major test, worth half my grade, not realizing that there were questions on the back of the sheet. FML

#18192880
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20472) - you deserved it (33753)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after holding it in for hours, I finally managed to run to the bathroom for a pee. I thought it was impossible for rats to climb up the sewer pipes and into the toilet, but apparently I was wrong. FML

#18192690
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32124) - you deserved it (2385)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37412) - you deserved it (7476)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54280) - you deserved it (3889)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

#18163240
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38931) - you deserved it (5268)

On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML

#18153608
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34880) - you deserved it (8407)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:29am - love - by fmlifer - United States (California)

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

#18150713
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42294) - you deserved it (3811)

On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States

Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

#18145406
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40443) - you deserved it (3010)

On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States



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