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kittylil

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kittylil
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  • Number of visits : 4405
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kittylil's favorite FMLs

Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML

#18304888
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29709) - you deserved it (2800)

On 11/21/2011 at 2:02am - work - by disciplinaryaction (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML

#18304597
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9756) - you deserved it (27180)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:23am - kids - by BadFather (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 11 year old sister deleted me off Facebook because I'm not "cool enough" to be seen on her profile. FML

#18302175
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25226) - you deserved it (4887)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:21pm - kids - by sourcandy013 - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

#18302011
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40409) - you deserved it (3086)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I said hello to her as I came in the door. FML

#18286848
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27285) - you deserved it (2169)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - work - by arthur (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

#18279694
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29769) - you deserved it (3709)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States

Today, my landlady cut off the Internet to my flat. She says she has no use for it, and doesn't want to keep it anymore. I have 3 online assignments due in the next week, and finals the following week. FML

#18261463
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24885) - you deserved it (2217)

On 11/16/2011 at 1:32am - work - by nyatzz - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

#18254256
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22461) - you deserved it (13981)

On 11/15/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by yuck - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

#18251877
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15769) - you deserved it (7318)

On 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm - animals - by MY CAR (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35195) - you deserved it (5504)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

#18222610
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25305) - you deserved it (2267)

On 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm - kids - by Username - United States (Maryland)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7033) - you deserved it (98288)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML

#18210187
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45793) - you deserved it (3343)

On 11/10/2011 at 1:22pm - love - by Nicoli - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML

#18209020
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28054) - you deserved it (2580)

On 11/10/2011 at 9:35am - money - by Agathus (man) - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39007) - you deserved it (4723)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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