Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kittylil

Search for a member

kittylil

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5605
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kittylil's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 5:47pm<b>lottiebearx</b> - the 06/15/2012 at 4:23am<b>Not_High</b> - the 03/31/2012 at 2:24am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:42pm<b>blackninja747</b> - the 07/13/2010 at 6:57am<b>avalon24</b> - the 07/17/2009 at 3:42am

kittylil's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

kittylil's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML

#20011258
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18969) - you deserved it (1541)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:51am - health - by MsConfusedd - United States (New York)

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

#20010519
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20846) - you deserved it (2801)

On 08/08/2012 at 11:29pm - kids - by bellabreeze - United States (Maine)

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

#20009342
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5842) - you deserved it (43951)

On 08/08/2012 at 10:00am - misc - by FutureMarine3658 - United States (Utah)

Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML

#20009222
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22083) - you deserved it (2216)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:23am - work - by TJ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

#20008924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24906) - you deserved it (2410)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

#20007867
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17098) - you deserved it (10625)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:17pm - work - by Employee (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was at the store with my grandpa. When we were rung up, he started to pay for our myriad groceries in coins, and the guy behind us groaned. My grandpa said, "shut your mouth," and started ranting about how stupid people are to leave paper trails for "government spooks." FML

#20006151
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17263) - you deserved it (1772)

On 08/06/2012 at 5:37pm - money - by for fucks sake gramps (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

#20004599
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21787) - you deserved it (4507)

On 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm - kids - by milf - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML

#20002664
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21678) - you deserved it (6381)

On 08/04/2012 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML

#20001108
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29080) - you deserved it (4320)

On 08/03/2012 at 9:52pm - kids - by pimpslaprequired (man) - United States

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

#19999925
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29311) - you deserved it (2283)

On 08/03/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

#19999762
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30181) - you deserved it (2644)

On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML

#19998217
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26840) - you deserved it (2503)

On 08/02/2012 at 10:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML

#19990524
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22948) - you deserved it (5062)

On 07/29/2012 at 8:20am - kids - by fml - Japan (Saitama)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: