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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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kittylil

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kittylil
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1315
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, my mother was watching me play Pokemon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokemon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471 (290)

I agree, your life sucks (11560) - you deserved it (1435)

On 12/24/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by arrowtopatella (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

#18593326 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (8858) - you deserved it (4507)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025 (396)

I agree, your life sucks (4283) - you deserved it (9768)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I left to go home for Christmas holidays. I got 3 hours away and realised I forgot the presents. Along with the engagement ring I was going to give to my girlfriend. FML

#18572612 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (7471) - you deserved it (3527)

On 12/21/2011 at 6:36pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML

#18561778 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (12112) - you deserved it (14928)

On 12/20/2011 at 1:59pm - kids - by imamomma - United States

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363 (267)

I agree, your life sucks (12582) - you deserved it (1436)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

#18525865 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (18326) - you deserved it (8108)

On 12/16/2011 at 4:08am - kids - by Oily (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my landlord came and beat on my door demanding the rent check. I just got home from a trip and my wife was supposed to pay it while I was away. What happened to the money? Black Friday. FML

#18515072 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (8354) - you deserved it (951)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:46pm - money - by kittyslayer (man) - United States

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

#18495546 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (11232) - you deserved it (1260)

On 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm - kids - by Santa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to court to file a small claim and found myself at the end of a huge line. The moment I got to the front of the line, the fire alarm went off and we all had to leave the building. The moment I got outside, the alarm stopped and everybody rushed back in. I'm at the back of the line. FML

#18461010 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (31556) - you deserved it (2205)

On 12/08/2011 at 3:41pm - money - by Dante178 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML

#18445536 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (8058) - you deserved it (866)

On 12/06/2011 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

#18433358 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (4151) - you deserved it (12526)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:41am - money - by Christina - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

#18408881 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (6910) - you deserved it (1634)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by inpain - United States (California)

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

#18354788 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (15945) - you deserved it (2036)

On 11/26/2011 at 7:18am - work - by taternuts - Canada

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

#18353001 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (7801) - you deserved it (18608)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States