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kittycatxo's favorite FMLs
by haveahappyperiod / 10/04/2013 at 5:39am / Miscellaneous
by f.a.t. / 10/04/2013 at 4:20am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 4:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by /(•'_'•)\ / 09/07/2013 at 12:59pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
by ...thanks / 09/07/2013 at 10:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML
by what's a rimjob between friends? / 09/06/2013 at 5:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I thought of twerking. It was a bizarre question, but trying to get on the interviewer's good side, I said I thought it was pretty cool. He snorted and said I'll be job-seeking for a while yet. FML
by howprofessional / 09/06/2013 at 5:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
by aherdofpigs / 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm / United States / Animals
by zephyrgk / 09/01/2013 at 9:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML
by NotGabe / 09/01/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML
by happyturtle / 09/01/2013 at 5:57am / Croatia / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…