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kittenmeownyan's favorite FMLs
by mariet / 02/11/2011 at 1:13am / United States / Health
by inosehowthatgotthere / 02/09/2011 at 8:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, one of my cats peed all over the back of my couch, so I put her outside for a while. When I let her in, she ran straight to the couch and peed on my laptop. This has been going on ever since I accidentally stepped on her tail, several months ago. FML
by UghCats / 02/05/2011 at 8:58pm / United States (Wyoming) / Animals
Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2011 at 4:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Miscellaneous
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Love
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Heyy / 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by WorstLifeEver / 06/24/2010 at 8:45pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML
by Keaton / 06/15/2010 at 12:58pm / United States (New Mexico) / Love
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
by buttpicker / 04/19/2010 at 7:24pm / United States / Animals
by shmelly / 04/16/2010 at 12:03am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, I found out that my husband has more topless pictures of his ex on his computer than he does… Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him… Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me…