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kittenmeownyan

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kittenmeownyan
  • Town/Country : Victoria, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 626
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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kittenmeownyan's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to pick a penny off of the ground for good luck. Someone kneed me in the butt, I fell face first and broke my glasses. FML

#19460120
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22292) - you deserved it (3553)

On 04/13/2012 at 5:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26889) - you deserved it (8841)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

#18650624
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18398) - you deserved it (3165)

On 12/30/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by 3peeps - United States

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

#18617176
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22419) - you deserved it (3538)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13831) - you deserved it (49686)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34140) - you deserved it (3973)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53208) - you deserved it (5251)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36869) - you deserved it (21187)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I left my bedroom window open to let in some fresh air while I slept. A skunk got in and sprayed my room. FML

#16963316
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26477) - you deserved it (7685)

On 07/03/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by siannacasey - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53264) - you deserved it (9956)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43506) - you deserved it (6376)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
782 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61243) - you deserved it (12506)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML

#15161731
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23603) - you deserved it (4893)

On 03/01/2011 at 10:00am - health - by a -

Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML

#15031615
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22005) - you deserved it (12112)

On 02/18/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by blaahh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

#14935582
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25916) - you deserved it (3235)

On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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