kittenmeownyan

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kittenmeownyan

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2523
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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kittenmeownyan's page activity

Visits<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 10:47am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:05am<b>Stephanoze</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 5:22pm<b>alex47625</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:26am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:07am<b>Valcannos</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 3:35pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 7:55pm<b>LordGoober</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 7:53am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:15am<b>dk1991</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 1:58pm<b>rouslov</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 1:23am<b>LeeB</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 5:02pm<b>rabechan</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:55pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 8:15pm<b>MCRaddict15</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 1:33am<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 7:15am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 3:25am<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:40am

kittenmeownyan's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kittenmeownyan's badges

kittenmeownyan's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to pick a penny off of the ground for good luck. Someone kneed me in the butt, I fell face first and broke my glasses. FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 5:43am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

by 3peeps / 12/30/2011 at 2:13am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

by shootme / 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

by couldntholdit / 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I left my bedroom window open to let in some fresh air while I slept. A skunk got in and sprayed my room. FML

by siannacasey / 07/03/2011 at 4:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Animals

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

by Artic / 04/12/2011 at 12:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML

by a / 03/01/2011 at 10:00am / Health

Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML

by blaahh / 02/18/2011 at 8:35pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm / United States (California) / Work