kittenmeownyan

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kittenmeownyan

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2665
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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kittenmeownyan's page activity

Visits<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 10:47am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:05am<b>Stephanoze</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 5:22pm<b>alex47625</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:26am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:07am<b>Valcannos</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 3:35pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 7:55pm<b>LordGoober</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 7:53am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:15am<b>dk1991</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 1:58pm<b>rouslov</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 1:23am<b>LeeB</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 5:02pm<b>rabechan</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:55pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 8:15pm<b>MCRaddict15</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 1:33am<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 7:15am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 3:25am<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:40am

kittenmeownyan's FML badges

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kittenmeownyan's favorite FMLs

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

by I'maboutobarf / 01/31/2013 at 5:28am / Australia / Health

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

by yourmainman / 01/28/2013 at 12:03am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 6:16am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm / United States / Love

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

by SamWGovan / 12/09/2012 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

by piemasterzim / 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm / Canada / Kids

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

by SadDad / 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

by dafuqdidihear / 08/11/2012 at 2:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

by audreyav / 06/30/2012 at 4:10am / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

by 504-A1 / 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals