This member hasn't filled in the description.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (2429)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46953) - you deserved it (7164)
On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24924) - you deserved it (79444)
On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my dad told my little brother that Tokyo is in China. This is the same guy that yells at me every time I get a "B" on a report card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24823) - you deserved it (1617)
On 07/14/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by j1hill33 - United States (Georgia)
Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36055) - you deserved it (2705)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (107134) - you deserved it (5822)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65177) - you deserved it (6888)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, is the 6 month anniversary of my boyfriend and I. Turns out next month he will be celebrating the 3 year anniversary of him and his wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39429) - you deserved it (7739)
On 07/09/2011 at 11:19am - love - by Beanzbeanz - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8451) - you deserved it (57554) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version
Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7553) - you deserved it (59775)
On 07/08/2011 at 4:38pm - misc - by UhOh (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45262) - you deserved it (8300)
On 07/08/2011 at 1:19am - love - by Nick (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45819) - you deserved it (2290)
On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27497) - you deserved it (4009)
On 07/07/2011 at 10:40am - love - by Junktown (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32159) - you deserved it (9758)
On 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46224) - you deserved it (14726)
On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
