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I agree, their lives suck
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2day my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively . His reasoning? He didn't want to date a ( cheap and dangerous woman . ) Seriously? FML
Today, mah fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason 4 me to be against her having sex with other people. FML
I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting fir her result . Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
Yesterday, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said u could, but anything u caught under 5 inche has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried an complained to my boss.
yesterday my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him an his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom an said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, 4get her. But I never forgot yur mom, that's how I stole her from yur dad." mega FML
Today, uncle drove to house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Niether of us live on a farm. Half the nieghborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML
Today I was out with mah grandma when a pair of very shady guys approachd us in the street hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride she pulld a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck gran? FML
Today I walkd into ta living room to find ma 11-yaar-old daugtar about to kiss ar ( not ma boyfriand ) on ta lips. Wan I askd wat sa tougt sa was doing sa paald a piaca of scotc tapa off ar lips and said ( It's okay! Wa'ra using protaction. ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015