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kingbling11

Offline (the 08/21/2014 at 2:43am) | Search for a member

kingbling11

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  • Number of visits : 369
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kingbling11's page activity

Visits<b>Baustigt</b> - the 09/15/2012 at 11:08pm

kingbling11's FML badges

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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kingbling11's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

#5991629
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37328) - you deserved it (9909)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by roadbikemama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my football team played in a game against our rival school that was just a few blocks away. We hadn't lost the game in exactly 49 years, we were playing for the 50th year win. We lost 63-0, and got booed off the field by our own crowd. FML

#5478797
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18097) - you deserved it (33492)

On 09/26/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Fmycar - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19933) - you deserved it (93818)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#5198874
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39771) - you deserved it (4779)

On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After we got off of Supreme Scream, the ride attendant asked her, "How was it?" She pointed to me and said, "It's like sex with this man, my boyfriend; intense, then disappointing because it only lasts like 30 seconds." FML

#4393930
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50564) - you deserved it (11033)

On 08/08/2009 at 9:41pm - intimacy - by blank13 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66831) - you deserved it (15304)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML

#3945236
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59397) - you deserved it (6267)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

#3921342
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42773) - you deserved it (27756)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant with my extended family. It was expensive, and when the bill came, I whispered to my brother, "We may need to make this one a Chew and Screw". When the waitress came back to the table, my five year old son decided to ask aloud "What's Chew and Screw?". FML

#3790073
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7243) - you deserved it (58664)

On 07/15/2009 at 11:53pm - kids - by bigdaddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, on the way to an exam I saw a car accident happen. I stopped, helped the woman who was injured and waited for the paramedics. I was too late at school, the teacher didn't buy my excuse and I failed the exam. It was an examination of my first aid skills. FML

#2074283
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70569) - you deserved it (3772)

On 05/19/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by Sam (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when this small boy starts looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kids face look like that"? He said it so loud 3 tables next to us turned and looked. FML

#330235
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47189) - you deserved it (2995)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:46pm - kids - by maximumpower (man) - United States (New York)



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