Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kingbling11

Offline (the 04/11/2014 at 10:44pm) | Search for a member

kingbling11

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 352
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kingbling11's page activity

Visits<b>Baustigt</b> - the 09/15/2012 at 11:08pm

kingbling11's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of kingbling11's badges

kingbling11's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

#17489385
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24966) - you deserved it (9961)

On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33467) - you deserved it (3649)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I left my bedroom window open to let in some fresh air while I slept. A skunk got in and sprayed my room. FML

#16963316
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28047) - you deserved it (7887)

On 07/03/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by siannacasey - United States (Oregon)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10091) - you deserved it (77610)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

#16129508
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45540) - you deserved it (15615)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

#15942316
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28064) - you deserved it (3792)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36625) - you deserved it (31265)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my boyfriend thought the garbage can in our kitchen smelled bad. Instead of cleaning it, he had it equipped with a Wunderbaum. Our entire house now smells like "New Car". FML

#14717591
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18150) - you deserved it (3354)

On 01/26/2011 at 5:38am - misc - by everfresh (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML

#13717829
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24551) - you deserved it (7615)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

#13648057
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28759) - you deserved it (7981)

On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was helping my friend put up a wooden fence at his new house. I was holding the sections of fence up while he nailed them in with an air powered nail gun. The gun malfunctioned and fired twice putting the second nail through my hand and into the wood. We had to pry the nail out. FML

#7412536
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30463) - you deserved it (2374)

On 01/18/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Nissan_David (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the doctor told me that I have Vasovagal Syncope: I pass out every time I get aroused. Bye bye sex. FML

#7198357
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36808) - you deserved it (2304)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by Sanchez (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML

#7097610
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8311) - you deserved it (29102)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10472) - you deserved it (23621)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7211) - you deserved it (80060)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: