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This isn't what should be happening
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TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30160) - you deserved it (24878)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, my boyfriend thought the garbage can in our kitchen smelled bad. Instead of cleaning it, he had it equipped with a Wunderbaum. Our entire house now smells like "New Car". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13969) - you deserved it (2963)
On 01/26/2011 at 5:38am - misc - by everfresh (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)
Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19619) - you deserved it (5797)
On 11/04/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22818) - you deserved it (6137)
On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was helping my friend put up a wooden fence at his new house. I was holding the sections of fence up while he nailed them in with an air powered nail gun. The gun malfunctioned and fired twice putting the second nail through my hand and into the wood. We had to pry the nail out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24342) - you deserved it (1725)
On 01/18/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Nissan_David (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, the doctor told me that I have Vasovagal Syncope: I pass out every time I get aroused. Bye bye sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30073) - you deserved it (1664)
On 01/07/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by Sanchez (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6154) - you deserved it (18955)
On 01/02/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8570) - you deserved it (16874)
On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5240) - you deserved it (63185)
On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31361) - you deserved it (7778)
On 10/25/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by roadbikemama (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my football team played in a game against our rival school that was just a few blocks away. We hadn't lost the game in exactly 49 years, we were playing for the 50th year win. We lost 63-0, and got booed off the field by our own crowd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14636) - you deserved it (24714)
On 09/26/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Fmycar - United States (California)
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16456) - you deserved it (72542)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33948) - you deserved it (501)
On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After we got off of Supreme Scream, the ride attendant asked her, "How was it?" She pointed to me and said, "It's like sex with this man, my boyfriend; intense, then disappointing because it only lasts like 30 seconds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43949) - you deserved it (8461)
On 08/08/2009 at 9:41pm - intimacy - by blank13 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37633) - you deserved it (61550)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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