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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28901) - you deserved it (1138)
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19354) - you deserved it (2872)
On 05/22/2012 at 9:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22394) - you deserved it (2011)
On 05/13/2012 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8438) - you deserved it (21832)
On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20731) - you deserved it (7959)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)
Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16277) - you deserved it (3607)
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26893) - you deserved it (6972)
On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36001) - you deserved it (3752)
On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11880) - you deserved it (15834)
On 11/29/2011 at 11:15am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25770) - you deserved it (2103)
On 11/10/2011 at 9:35am - money - by Agathus (man) - United Arab Emirates
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24814) - you deserved it (3920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20256) - you deserved it (7661)
On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28561) - you deserved it (3236)
On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I left my bedroom window open to let in some fresh air while I slept. A skunk got in and sprayed my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22916) - you deserved it (6093)
On 07/03/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by siannacasey - United States (Oregon)
Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8096) - you deserved it (58166)
On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Friday 24 May 2013
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