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kingbling11

Offline (the 08/21/2014 at 2:43am) | Search for a member

kingbling11

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  • Number of visits : 416
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kingbling11's page activity

Visits<b>Baustigt</b> - the 09/15/2012 at 11:08pm

kingbling11's FML badges

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kingbling11's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54999) - you deserved it (27629)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

#20770214
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44191) - you deserved it (4212)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69031) - you deserved it (3960)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39560) - you deserved it (2990)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got mad at my parents and threatened to run away. Things got so bad that I packed a bag and left, planning to hide in my front yard to teach them a lesson. It's been two hours, and I'm still standing behind a bush in front of my house while they make no effort to look for me. FML

#20072843
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7922) - you deserved it (43265)

On 09/15/2012 at 11:37am - misc - by Rowan Curry - United States (California)

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML

#20072649
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36713) - you deserved it (1985)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast". That is not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

#20072637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22204) - you deserved it (2207)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:07am - health - by Leashaness (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24914) - you deserved it (2553)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

#20072449
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24936) - you deserved it (2252)

On 09/15/2012 at 1:35am - intimacy - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, the gas company came to connect our stove for free. While here, they broke our hot water heater, shut it off, and issued us a hazard notice. We can fix it, but they won't be able to come back for another two weeks to turn the gas back on. We don't have any hot water until then. FML

#20072391
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19455) - you deserved it (1411)

On 09/15/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

#20072034
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22156) - you deserved it (3211)

On 09/14/2012 at 8:03pm - love - by wow kid just leave me alone (woman) - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24051) - you deserved it (2794)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I learned that you can be so sleep deprived that you sleep through your alarm, a construction crew outside your house, and your bladder completely voiding itself. FML

#20071794
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21594) - you deserved it (2403)

On 09/14/2012 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML

#20071743
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19039) - you deserved it (1301)

On 09/14/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by thefuckman (man) - United States



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