kimmy91

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kimmy91

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2380
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About kimmy91 : 20, Aussie. I read FML each night before falling asleep and comment occasionally if i'm awake enough. To all the grammar nazis and other annoying people -> calm this shit down...it's just FML!!!! I can speak, read and write too but I don't need to correct every typo and spelling error to feel validated as a person. Message me if you'd like to..although I may not get it for a while because I mostly use the app.

kimmy91's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 1:41pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 11:22pm<b>gingerface81</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:46am<b>tangonaf</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 3:34am<b>thatcowyoutipped</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 11:50am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 2:10pm<b>osteobabe</b> - the 02/21/2012 at 12:31pm<b>MacPrince</b> - the 02/21/2012 at 9:23am<b>cyberhoy</b> - the 12/14/2011 at 9:22pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 7:41pm

kimmy91's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of kimmy91's badges

kimmy91's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

by maybe dead in a day / 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML

by damnthedog / 01/19/2013 at 2:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I unknowingly used my shampoo thinking it was leave-in-conditioner. While walking to work, it started to rain. I started to produce suds. FML

by nomegusta / 01/05/2013 at 10:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

by maxedoutidiot / 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

by LearnGeographyUSA / 12/12/2012 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

by reedcarter / 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

by fabs1171 / 11/29/2012 at 12:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

by lobstercola / 11/24/2012 at 11:35am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

by Embarassed / 11/23/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

by besviken / 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm / Sweden (Uppsala Lan) / Intimacy

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

by you / 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

by Andrew / 10/30/2012 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

by Agirl / 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found a ticket on my motorcycle for not parking in a designated spot. The space I had parked my bike in was occupied by a large van. Some asshole had moved my bike. FML

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

by bill / 10/24/2012 at 7:14am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous