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killerclowns

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killerclowns

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 282
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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killerclowns's page activity

Visits<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 9:34pm<b>countryg1rl_1994</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 12:31am<b>gracehi</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 1:02am<b>mdcdeve</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 9:53pm<b>Amelia_Jones237</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 5:35pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 3:33pm<b>jjsaunders32</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 9:01pm<b>HelloooooNurse</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 11:05am<b>FrostHeart</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 8:42am<b>ShadowLor</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 4:14pm<b>mac8080</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 12:11am<b>hawkeyepeirce</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 11:08pm<b>Rayth</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 2:34pm<b>Somefruits</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 1:11pm<b>Zeus1070</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 12:19pm<b>blackman100</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 12:08pm<b>dre82</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 10:18am<b>starfish7</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 10:04am

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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killerclowns's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML

#20945220
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45767) - you deserved it (10168)

On 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by barebackingit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

#20944161
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39086) - you deserved it (4311)

On 11/03/2013 at 5:27pm - kids - by don'tdrinkthat - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

#20910165
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49368) - you deserved it (13256)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Sleepy head - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

#20833620
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47238) - you deserved it (3209)

On 08/12/2013 at 11:24am - health - by nutfreak (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58610) - you deserved it (10825)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I lost my car keys, so I asked my ex-husband if he still had his spare to my car. He said he'd send it. I got an empty envelope with a troll face on it. There's a reason I left him. FML

#20738006
121 comments

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

#20707414
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42757) - you deserved it (13793)

On 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by SHIT-BREATH (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

#20705435
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32371) - you deserved it (47507)

On 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm - health - by poisonivyretard (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30747) - you deserved it (65434)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML

#20703298
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41816) - you deserved it (4829)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:48pm - misc - by moreliketurdmart (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

#20671062
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35572) - you deserved it (4701)

On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49602) - you deserved it (13497)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50386) - you deserved it (8803)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79340) - you deserved it (4080)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20078) - you deserved it (50706)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)



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