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killer1525

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killer1525
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 396
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

This isn't what should be happening

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killer1525's favorite FMLs

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#20475894
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13510) - you deserved it (21160)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24371) - you deserved it (1625)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

#20450098
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7527) - you deserved it (43684)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

#20443608
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8319) - you deserved it (26121)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27103) - you deserved it (14051)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

#20199046
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8252) - you deserved it (24800)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML

#20196447
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3503) - you deserved it (37929)

On 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

#20193830
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3755) - you deserved it (63109)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20227) - you deserved it (2516)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

#20181011
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17615) - you deserved it (1337)

On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11433) - you deserved it (21407)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13774) - you deserved it (1269)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6322) - you deserved it (21255)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

#20134163
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14747) - you deserved it (1846)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)



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Wednesday 15 May 2013

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