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killer1525

Offline (the 02/25/2014 at 5:37am) | Search for a member

killer1525

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 768
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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killer1525's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend's little brother challenged me to a water gun fight. I accepted, not knowing he was going to fill his gun with vinegar, then shoot me in the eyes with it. FML

#21111233
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41250) - you deserved it (4217)

On 04/12/2014 at 3:59pm - kids - by BeatByA9yrold (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

#21108356
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42873) - you deserved it (3241)

On 04/09/2014 at 8:37am - misc - by not_this_shit_again (man) - Singapore

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

#21100295
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41148) - you deserved it (17852)

On 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm - kids - by and not even in the good way (man) - United States

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37121) - you deserved it (2846)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom and I flew three hours from Wyoming to a volleyball camp in Kentucky. When we arrived, we went to the volleyball center and told them I was there for the volleyball camp. They told me it had been cancelled two weeks ago and they forgot to call us. FML

#21066263
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49057) - you deserved it (3548)

On 02/20/2014 at 3:57am - health - by maddengirl12 (woman) - United States

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38567) - you deserved it (5124)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

#21043189
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42617) - you deserved it (5224)

On 01/28/2014 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, after three weeks of fighting with my husband, I found out that he really didn't create an account on a website for cheaters and charge the bill to his credit card. Our daughter did it as a prank, and only confessed because our fighting was stressing her out. FML

#21031747
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48370) - you deserved it (5753)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51488) - you deserved it (11540)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

#21027576
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41834) - you deserved it (4511)

On 01/14/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44908) - you deserved it (23375)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37165) - you deserved it (3382)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

#21000308
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44075) - you deserved it (5828)

On 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by back to creepers (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were: "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML

#20992530
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42800) - you deserved it (3523)

On 12/14/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by bnc (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML



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