kill3rs

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kill3rs

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1476
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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kill3rs's page activity

Visits<b>prajju99</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:03am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:25pm<b>n_g97</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Mercadian</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 5:30pm<b>cp399</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 8:38pm<b>MadiC17</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 5:10pm<b>TheKittiesTitays</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:08am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 6:16pm<b>Girosrabing</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 2:25pm<b>jaypskates44</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 11:35pm<b>ryr11</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 12:14am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 3:53am<b>fadingaway</b> - the 01/07/2011 at 5:33pm<b>Dr_Pepper</b> - the 12/05/2010 at 4:01am

kill3rs's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

kill3rs's favorite FMLs

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

by gettingacat / 12/17/2009 at 9:32am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML

by DeeElleGee / 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML

by ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV / 11/07/2009 at 12:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us my after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently, my member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients, and has now swollen to the size of my fist. FML

by Metime / 11/04/2009 at 11:17pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that sometimes I forget to turn off my desk light when I leave the room for dinner. I also learned that said desk light can get hot enough to melt plastic, which is why my brand-new laptop screen was literally oozing onto the table top when I got back. FML

by iplaytwister / 10/22/2009 at 5:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

by gera3gera / 10/06/2009 at 10:07pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I picked my car up from the shop. After 5 minutes I noticed the oil and check engine light on. I pulled over, then the engine shut off completely. Turns out they forgot to put oil back in my car. I'll be needing a new engine. FML

by cartrouble / 10/02/2009 at 1:51am / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, I applied for college graduation. Turns out my advisor screwed me over and now I'm 1 credit hour short of getting my degree. Now I have to wait another semester and pay $3,500 just to take a one hour class on Bowling so that I can graduate. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML

by rainedaddy / 09/29/2009 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a club with my friends. I noticed the bouncer looked at me strangely. Then he erupts and screams, "you're the bitch who caused havoc and £255 damage to the cloakroom, pay up or I'll call the fuzz!" Little did I know my 15-year-old sister stole my ID last weekend. FML

by busted / 09/25/2009 at 4:24pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my friends house for the first time in months. I saw her newest chihuahua dog, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit, straight into my eye. FML

by GreatAim / 09/23/2009 at 1:55am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

by MgmEboy / 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, at Six flags, friends and I were going to ride "Superman". People lose their phones on it easily, so I asked a friend who decided not to ride to put mine in her bag. When it ended, I learned she went and asked an employee in navy to hold onto it, but couldn't find him. Employees wear yellow. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I went to the beach and we were tanning when I suddenly saw 10 roses floating in the ocean. I went around to pick up all the roses and threw the petals at my friends. Then I notice a big boat of people in black and white were looking at me with disgust. It was a funeral. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2009 at 7:09pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML

by lily / 08/30/2009 at 4:17pm / United States (California) / Animals