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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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kikiface

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kikiface
  • Town/Country : Philadelphia, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 August 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 6342
  • Number of comments : 444
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About kikiface : you are my favorite person, and i love reading YOU :D

you will either agree with me to the point of love, or disagree with me to the point of hate. it happens!

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kikiface's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss made me some Tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my number 1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them. FML

#8576368 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (19244) - you deserved it (3640)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my mom goes through my garbage. I'm 25 and don't live with her. FML

#8548832 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (21239) - you deserved it (1014)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)

Today, I witnessed my roommate pop a blister with a skewer and casually place it back in the kitchen drawer, before wiping what seeped out with the teatowel. FML

#8547021 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (19597) - you deserved it (1027)

On 02/22/2010 at 5:13am - misc - by OMFG (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while eating at an outdoor café, a man on the street came up to me and said, "My girlfriend is sexier than you, bitch." Thanks for the confidence boost. FML

#8539206 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (19618) - you deserved it (1564)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by sandiego - United States (Texas)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

#8519480 (475)

I agree, your life sucks (32130) - you deserved it (1945)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:50pm - animals - by ughno - United States (Texas)

Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML

#8435501 (268)

I agree, your life sucks (23368) - you deserved it (1991)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:24am - animals - by OMGraven (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, one of my managers at work asked me to carrying our new Frappe machine to front counter for assembling. Being 5 months pregnant, I explained to her I am unable to safely lift more than 20-30lbs. I was then fired and told that I shouldn't use being pregnant as an excuse to not work. FML

#7178040 (326)

I agree, your life sucks (34617) - you deserved it (2873)

On 01/06/2010 at 6:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my girlfriend of 9 months that I was ready for marriage and start having kids. She hasn't called or texted me since. FML

#5479094 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (11537) - you deserved it (43022)

On 09/26/2009 at 1:34am - love - by bigdawg702 (man) - United States

Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML

#4511410 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (40806) - you deserved it (13556)

On 08/13/2009 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by onehundredpercenteffed (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. TWICE. FML

#859604 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (54963) - you deserved it (134462)

On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (577)

I agree, your life sucks (40701) - you deserved it (114323)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)