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kidsupreme

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kidsupreme
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 286
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kidsupreme's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7344) - you deserved it (68926)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29150) - you deserved it (5021) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML

#17837739
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23127) - you deserved it (4643)

On 09/26/2011 at 6:37am - work - by gotanewmouse - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

#15691583
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32803) - you deserved it (4727)

On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

#15334781
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38805) - you deserved it (3217)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:53am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52660) - you deserved it (5064)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

#13097397
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15927) - you deserved it (22821)

On 09/18/2010 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, I was arrested by the police for sitting in what they thought was a stolen vehicle. After being slammed into the back of a squad car at gun point, they realized the car was actually recovered a week ago. FML

#12957877
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28723) - you deserved it (2007)

On 09/08/2010 at 12:42am - misc - by bustedfornuthin - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

#11857753
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16846) - you deserved it (39024)

On 07/13/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Criminal (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML

#7451202
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13022) - you deserved it (3435)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by wasntworththedrive (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

#5486035
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43520) - you deserved it (4770)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by grossgross (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML

#5223643
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10909) - you deserved it (38458)

On 09/13/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML

#11602
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10045) - you deserved it (42452)

On 02/06/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I crunched my pen and crushed my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

#479
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10877) - you deserved it (5131)

On 12/09/2008 at 8:50am - misc - by Heyme - Sent from mobile version



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