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khs234

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khs234
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  • Number of visits : 670
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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khs234's favorite FMLs

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn't realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said "I love you. I want you to have my child." It had been our second date. FML

#4408300
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59471) - you deserved it (31756)

On 08/09/2009 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by SoniaLovesYou - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML

#4381633
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8995) - you deserved it (56031)

On 08/08/2009 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

#4196773
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53515) - you deserved it (2821)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:32am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

#4156027
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50586) - you deserved it (2936)

On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, while driving home with my parents. I pretended to be asleep so mum wouldn't talk to me. They then took this time to describe what they were going to do to each other when they got home. In full detail. FML

#4063087
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38326) - you deserved it (14254)

On 07/26/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by Joel_mama (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML

#3905141
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9456) - you deserved it (60122)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by hoho5191 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

#3796227
574 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24940) - you deserved it (79336)

On 07/16/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by notawizard (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML

#3641578
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40923) - you deserved it (17550)

On 07/10/2009 at 2:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I hit a horrible tee shot from the 18th hole. I decided to use my driver to take my frustration out on a nearby bush. The bees who lived in that bush decided to use their stingers to take out their frustration up inside my golf shorts. FML

#3555037
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10181) - you deserved it (59715)

On 07/07/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74329) - you deserved it (10288)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

#3143292
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21015) - you deserved it (53213)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61393) - you deserved it (5805)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69249) - you deserved it (179741)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)



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