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Mobility
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Today, while working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18351) - you deserved it (1841)
On 02/14/2010 at 12:07am - work - by mallcop - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25366) - you deserved it (1929)
On 02/02/2010 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26373) - you deserved it (9704)
On 01/31/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15046) - you deserved it (2435)
On 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm - health - by poops - United States
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23195) - you deserved it (2506)
On 01/14/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by melonhead (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my friend told me men can't be trusted. I told her that wasn't true; I have my husband's password to his email but I never check it because I trust him. She bet me he was doing something bad, and to prove her wrong I looked. Turns out he has been cheating on me for 8 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30909) - you deserved it (3631)
On 01/13/2010 at 7:40am - love - by BetrayedGirl (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20004) - you deserved it (5015)
On 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by jumpy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28607) - you deserved it (3149)
On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6027) - you deserved it (43508)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I needed to job shadow someone for my winter break career project. Not finding someone to take me along to their job, my mom suggested shadowing my dad. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I went with him. All day I sat and helped him test human poop samples for parasites. Some was diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20544) - you deserved it (2665)
On 12/28/2009 at 10:14am - work - by kawaiixalice (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my daughter thought that my new and expensive cologne smelled funny. She then decided to empty its contents down the toilet and refill the bottle with "nice-smelling things". I now smell like a mixture of chicken soup, my wife's perfume, tomato sauce and orange juice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22913) - you deserved it (3049)
On 12/26/2009 at 11:34am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4262) - you deserved it (51236)
On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States
Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17026) - you deserved it (2241)
On 12/20/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by VCR (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11387) - you deserved it (2684)
On 12/11/2009 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Tee (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (3567)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)
Friday 24 May 2013
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