khs234

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khs234

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  • Number of visits : 1781
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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khs234's page activity

Visits<b>bryan788</b> - the 10/09/2012 at 7:56pm

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khs234's favorite FMLs

Today, my aunt gave my cat aspirin because when she touched his nose he had a 'fever'. I came home to a dead cat. FML

by Clumsyblonde22 / 06/04/2011 at 7:22am / United States / Animals

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2011 at 4:33pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

by coldwetnose / 05/09/2011 at 2:08am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

by wtfiswrongwithher / 05/07/2011 at 9:56am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my boyfriend finally found a roommate after hopelessly looking for months. I was really anxious to meet the guy because I would most likely be spending a good amount of time with him. Who did my boyfriend end up picking as his new roommate? My ex-boyfriend. FML

by doubletrouble / 04/22/2011 at 10:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of 3 and half years broke up with me, just after I fixed-up her house that took me about 3 and a half years. FML

by Tjop / 04/15/2011 at 7:50am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

by ohshit / 03/28/2011 at 8:31pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her "Get the f*ck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML

by bitchyskier / 02/26/2011 at 4:36pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 1:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I asked my boyfriend if my ass looked big in my new jeans. He looked, and then started singing "I like big butts and I cannot lie". FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2011 at 8:12am / Sweden (Orebro Lan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

by yingyang2 / 01/05/2011 at 9:19pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML

by sealy / 12/28/2010 at 2:44am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy