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Today, after a conference with mah teacherho had previously accused me of not doing mah homework, she finally discovered she'd been losing it all this time. I've been getting straight Fs 4 a month. FML
Today , my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived , I popped a viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period an didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache an a massive boner all night. FML
Today, I Was Taking A Dump Behind A Dumpster. I Suddenly Heard A Noise And A Vibration Against The Dumpster. It Was A Garbage Truck Lifting It To Collect The Trash. The Garbage Men Started Laughing And Took Out There Phones. FML
Today , I want shopping with mah grandma!! Sha want to tha bathroom an was gona for a long whila!! I jokingly askd , "What happand , u fall in?" Sha did!! Sha had shit all ovar tha back of har shrt!! FML
I Was At A Club Wit Ma Friends , Wen A Group Of Guys Approacd Us. It Got Quiet 4 A Second , An I Eard One Of Tem Say , ( It's Okay , I've Got Te Fat One Tis Time , ) Ten Walk Over An Start Talking To Me. FML
Today, While Using The Restroom At Work, I Dropped Mah Keys Into The Toilet. I Left To Fine Something To Get Them Out An Figured Nobody Would Use A Toilet With Keys In It. I Cummed Back To A Bowl Of Dung An ( Shit Happens ) Written On The Wall In Lipstick. FML
Friday 27 March 2015