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khildebrand2294

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khildebrand2294

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 February 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 338
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About khildebrand2294 : I'm happily engaged and on my way with my life what with going to college for a degree in biology so i can pursue a career in marine biology because i love sharks and want for the public to understand how misunderstood they truly are as a species and that Hollywood over-exaggerates for monetary gain and that they aren't "mindless man-eaters." If you want what one of those would be, I think that best defines any ex-wife... :P But i also enjoy playing and making music. I play the guitar (all forms), piano, keyboard, drums and bass guitar. I write blues, metal, rock, and now dubstep which can be listened to on my soundcloud page at http://soundcloud.com/Kranex

khildebrand2294's page activity

Visits<b>Aurelian</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 5:54pm

khildebrand2294's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of khildebrand2294's badges

khildebrand2294's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38611) - you deserved it (3951)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49540) - you deserved it (8071)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

#20544356
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38928) - you deserved it (5675)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

#20138170
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10077) - you deserved it (24525)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29687) - you deserved it (4516)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33210) - you deserved it (3452)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59391) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

#20031501
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23854) - you deserved it (1945)

On 08/20/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by scared to leave the house (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

#20025968
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23864) - you deserved it (2638)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Sarah - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23899) - you deserved it (6201)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14769) - you deserved it (38428)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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