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About khildebrand2294 : I'm happily engaged and on my way with my life what with going to college for a degree in biology so i can pursue a career in marine biology because i love sharks and want for the public to understand how misunderstood they truly are as a species and that Hollywood over-exaggerates for monetary gain and that they aren't "mindless man-eaters." If you want what one of those would be, I think that best defines any ex-wife... :P But i also enjoy playing and making music. I play the guitar (all forms), piano, keyboard, drums and bass guitar. I write blues, metal, rock, and now dubstep which can be listened to on my soundcloud page at http://soundcloud.com/Kranex
I moderated this!
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014