i'm a paki, baby.
Today, after a long stressful day, my boyfriend and I decided to take a shower together. As I'm telling him all about my day, I suddenly felt something warm on my foot, only to look down and see him peeing on me. When I asked what he was doing he said "I'm marking my territory, you're mine now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46008) - you totally deserved it (8506)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:34am - love - by Surprise (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36189) - you totally deserved it (15861)
On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41303) - you totally deserved it (2007)
On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are suppose to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here FML." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11968) - you totally deserved it (45458)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)
Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32130) - you totally deserved it (7061)
On 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm - kids - by reb2632 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49650) - you totally deserved it (1513)
On 05/18/2009 at 11:29pm - love - by KarlwithaK (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (157421) - you totally deserved it (10525)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8743) - you totally deserved it (622)
On 01/14/2009 at 10:32am - love - by poisonhand - United States (Michigan)
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