Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

khaayotic

Offline (yesterday at 3:19am) | Search for a member

khaayotic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 December 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2262
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About khaayotic : My name is Kayla, and I cry over anime boys.

khaayotic's page activity

Visits<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:10pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:48pm<b>aleximo</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:00pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:29am<b>Tankkiller308</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 4:30pm<b>thethirdthea</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 9:45pm<b>nonsensical600</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 8:26pm<b>olpally</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 7:05pm<b>EmberFury</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 9:51pm<b>oomph</b> - the 11/08/2012 at 5:41am<b>Svensen</b> - the 10/26/2012 at 9:09am<b>Friaza</b> - the 09/22/2012 at 7:07pm<b>isengaged</b> - the 04/16/2012 at 3:19pm

khaayotic's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of khaayotic's badges

khaayotic's favorite FMLs

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34352) - you deserved it (3499)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

#20162223
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7477) - you deserved it (29464)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Z - Australia

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (1863)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (4303) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30720) - you deserved it (6502)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (3163)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7014) - you deserved it (46745)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (6203)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27536) - you deserved it (4733)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19676) - you deserved it (4205)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML

#20100263
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23609) - you deserved it (2225)

On 10/03/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by its just twister (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

#20086703
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26452) - you deserved it (5872)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by disgusted - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20947) - you deserved it (8839)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: