Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

khaayotic

Online | Search for a member

khaayotic

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 December 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3955
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About khaayotic : My name is Kayla, and I cry over anime boys.

khaayotic's page activity

Visits<b>minimanion</b> - 23 hours ago<b>RA91</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:11pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 10:49pm<b>krazyelliot</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 9:18am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 2:59am<b>TimTheLeg</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 4:01pm<b>shockhead101</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 9:45pm<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:08am<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:13am<b>moron011</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 7:41am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:41am<b>PrinPrinLife</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 11:07am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 1:48pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 9:59pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:10pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:48pm<b>aleximo</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:00pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:29am

Fucked!<b>minimanion</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 3:30am<b>marshm610</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 4:49am<b>RA91</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 4:13am<b>shockhead101</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 3:45am

khaayotic's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of khaayotic's badges

khaayotic's favorite FMLs

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30452) - you deserved it (3781)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35487) - you deserved it (3442)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

#21306857
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36467) - you deserved it (3571)

On 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

#21296872
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53204) - you deserved it (6087)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37049) - you deserved it (7494)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30270) - you deserved it (13044)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42642) - you deserved it (19146)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47741) - you deserved it (6198)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39036) - you deserved it (9654)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46349) - you deserved it (8210)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46739) - you deserved it (29810)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46419) - you deserved it (7103)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39237) - you deserved it (19183)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got the same feeling in my chest when I orgasmed as when I hit a hard section in Guitar Hero. FML

#21187067
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42878) - you deserved it (8654)

On 06/24/2014 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by massachusettsan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: