About khaayotic : My name is Kayla, and I cry over anime boys.
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khaayotic's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally realized the toll working as a cashier 5 days a week during the holidays does to your psyche. I just said "Welcome To Walgreens", out of pure reflex, to my cat as she walked into my kitchen. FML
by Deweyboy / 12/21/2015 at 1:01pm / United States / Work
Today, my husband finally revealed that he's been secretly buying a particular brand of spicy chicken, eating it on his way home from work. He does it because it makes his farts smell just the way he likes it under the duvet when we go to bed. FML
by tara / 12/18/2015 at 12:49pm / Switzerland (Zug) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2015 at 1:10pm / Germany (Bayern) / Transportation
Today, my brother was playing one of those old street fighter games. He suddenly asked me what "K.O." meant. I told him it meant "Knocked Out," but he started getting mad at me because "'knocked' isn't spelled with a 'k'". He's 17. FML
by askprussia / 11/26/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by sydcaller618 / 11/23/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids
by mini matthylde / 11/19/2015 at 4:57am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Miscellaneous
by Playaaa / 11/14/2015 at 5:08pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Oh Cock / 10/10/2015 at 11:15am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm on vacation in Japan with my brother. When he said he could speak Japanese, I guess what he really meant that he's a dumbass weeaboo who only knows the words "kawaii", "baka", "sugoi" and a few others. He ended up offending two locals so much that they beat the shit out of us. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2015 at 1:16pm / Japan / Health
by All Dressed Up With No Place To Go / 09/11/2015 at 1:57am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML
by SilentSin / 08/24/2015 at 10:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML
by YourAverageFckUp / 08/22/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by lonelygal69 / 08/19/2015 at 1:54am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
- Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart.… Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking,… Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said,…