Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

khaayotic

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

khaayotic

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 December 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3974
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About khaayotic : My name is Kayla, and I cry over anime boys.

khaayotic's page activity

Visits<b>minimanion</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 2:06pm<b>RA91</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:11pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 10:49pm<b>krazyelliot</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 9:18am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 2:59am<b>TimTheLeg</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 4:01pm<b>shockhead101</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 9:45pm<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:08am<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:13am<b>moron011</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 7:41am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:41am<b>PrinPrinLife</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 11:07am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 1:48pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 9:59pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:10pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:48pm<b>aleximo</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:00pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:29am

Fucked!<b>minimanion</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 3:30am<b>marshm610</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 4:49am<b>RA91</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 4:13am<b>shockhead101</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 3:45am

khaayotic's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of khaayotic's badges

khaayotic's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (13307)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML

#21424633
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28257) - you deserved it (1994)

On 06/11/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by what - United States (California)

Today, a customer called the Chinese restaurant where I work and complained about her takeout order not including donuts. After informing her that we don't have them, she started to curse at me while citing the website as proof. She thought wontons were synonymous with donuts. FML

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13185) - you deserved it (45135)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31795) - you deserved it (2493)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

#21406274
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30356) - you deserved it (2853)

On 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by Random737193 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML

#21399752
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33540) - you deserved it (10209)

On 04/26/2015 at 12:05am - intimacy - by montanadinosaur (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36037) - you deserved it (5746)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream "YEAH" "WOO HOO" and "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing Amazing Grace in honor of a restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

#21365671
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32473) - you deserved it (2387)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by RadioactiveKush - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19937) - you deserved it (37815)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML

#21347945
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32398) - you deserved it (2810)

On 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm - health - by okseñoryoucrazy - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40071) - you deserved it (4307)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29784) - you deserved it (8516)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

#21341221
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32954) - you deserved it (4803)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm - kids - by frozenpoo - United States

Today, I sent my girlfriend a long-overdue message telling her I feel like she doesn't really care about me any more, that it seems like she only ever calls me when she needs money, and that I'm even starting to suspect she may be cheating on me. 14 hours later, she replied: "TL;DR". FML

#21320982
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30233) - you deserved it (3625)

On 12/20/2014 at 3:45pm - love - by KalaKa (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: