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khaayotic

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khaayotic

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 December 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2813
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About khaayotic : My name is Kayla, and I cry over anime boys.

khaayotic's page activity

Visits<b>PrinPrinLife</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 11:07am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 1:48pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 9:59pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:10pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:48pm<b>aleximo</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:00pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:29am<b>Tankkiller308</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 4:30pm<b>thethirdthea</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 9:45pm<b>nonsensical600</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 8:26pm<b>olpally</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 7:05pm<b>EmberFury</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 9:51pm<b>oomph</b> - the 11/08/2012 at 5:41am<b>Svensen</b> - the 10/26/2012 at 9:09am<b>Friaza</b> - the 09/22/2012 at 7:07pm<b>isengaged</b> - the 04/16/2012 at 3:19pm

khaayotic's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of khaayotic's badges

khaayotic's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9797) - you deserved it (119454)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML

#3055802
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20928) - you deserved it (51785)

On 06/20/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by DuckyKiller (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I tried to take off my girlfriend's bra. When I finally unhooked it, it snapped back and hit me in the eye. FML

#2890186
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45216) - you deserved it (23472)

On 06/14/2009 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by HatedbyBras (man) - Netherlands

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (141422) - you deserved it (10068)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML

#2797369
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32620) - you deserved it (52721)

On 06/11/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

#2769644
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73817) - you deserved it (6708)

On 06/10/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by superman_not (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109237) - you deserved it (4867)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
741 comments

I agree, your life sucks (288596) - you deserved it (155766)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33709) - you deserved it (146458)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99504) - you deserved it (22818)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

#927361
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98227) - you deserved it (4682)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by spiderhater (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (169083) - you deserved it (8506)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML



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