About khaayotic : My name is Kayla, and I cry over anime boys.
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khaayotic's favorite FMLs
Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about it. My brother ended up saying "If god doesn't want me to jerk off, how come he made my knob the perfect shape to fit in my hand?" I burst out laughing and now we're both grounded. FML
Today, my grandfather gave me a whole box of records to go with my new record player. When I thanked him, he said he'd been needing to get rid of them anyway because classical music makes him horny. I definitely didn't need to know that. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2016 at 11:43am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/11/2016 at 3:58am / Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya) / Kids
Today, I finally decided to accept a date proposal from a guy who's had a crush on me for years. I got into his car, and it smelled strongly of my middle school perfume. I went into his bedroom and saw my middle school class photos hanging everywhere. Let's just say I ran home that night. FML
by hannamacintosh / 07/07/2016 at 2:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by titmeister / 06/28/2016 at 12:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Austin / 06/17/2016 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, while vacationing with my boyfriend of 9 years, he started writing "Wi" in the sand. I instantly hoped he was going to propose by writing, "Will you marry me" on the beach. He spelled out "wiener" instead. FML
by ForeverAGirlfriend / 06/13/2016 at 12:40am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2-month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk when they make a noise. My fridge stated beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, 'It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright.' FML
by Babyhazy / 06/05/2016 at 5:52pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by Spider fail / 05/31/2016 at 3:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by sociallyawkward / 05/18/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Money
by forever_young / 05/13/2016 at 9:03am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by just-a-fat-cat / 05/02/2016 at 11:25pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
by 0h_Boy / 04/20/2016 at 4:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by iliana74 / 04/20/2016 at 12:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I woke up at 2 AM to the sounds of my roommate and his girlfriend on Skype, playing a game of, "No, I love YOU more, baby, schmoopy schmoopy schmoopy schmoo". It went on for around half an hour. FML
by GetAnotherRoomAlready / 03/12/2016 at 12:58am / United States / Miscellaneous