About khaayotic : My name is Kayla, and I cry over anime boys.
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khaayotic's favorite FMLs
Today, a woman came in to order lunch. She ordered a sandwich then asked for me to configure it precisely to her complicated desires. This took a whole 5 minutes, during the lunch rush. When I told her the cost, she decided it was too expensive and cancelled her order. FML
by Gray_Kitty / 09/17/2016 at 3:34pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work
by DabTheFuckOut / 09/16/2016 at 3:35pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love
by harambae / 09/11/2016 at 1:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML
by nattnatt73 / 09/10/2016 at 3:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by limegreenpoopie / 09/06/2016 at 9:38am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/24/2016 at 11:50pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about it. My brother ended up saying "If god doesn't want me to jerk off, how come he made my knob the perfect shape to fit in my hand?" I burst out laughing and now we're both grounded. FML
Today, my grandfather gave me a whole box of records to go with my new record player. When I thanked him, he said he'd been needing to get rid of them anyway because classical music makes him horny. I definitely didn't need to know that. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2016 at 11:43am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/11/2016 at 3:58am / Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya) / Kids
Today, I finally decided to accept a date proposal from a guy who's had a crush on me for years. I got into his car, and it smelled strongly of my middle school perfume. I went into his bedroom and saw my middle school class photos hanging everywhere. Let's just say I ran home that night. FML
by hannamacintosh / 07/07/2016 at 2:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by titmeister / 06/28/2016 at 12:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Austin / 06/17/2016 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, while vacationing with my boyfriend of 9 years, he started writing "Wi" in the sand. I instantly hoped he was going to propose by writing, "Will you marry me" on the beach. He spelled out "wiener" instead. FML
by ForeverAGirlfriend / 06/13/2016 at 12:40am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2-month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk when they make a noise. My fridge stated beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, 'It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright.' FML
by Babyhazy / 06/05/2016 at 5:52pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by Spider fail / 05/31/2016 at 3:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…