Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kgray99

Search for a member

kgray99

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 583
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kgray99's page activity

Visits<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:52pm<b>JesusFreak227</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 5:28pm<b>pink_raindrops</b> - the 03/16/2011 at 5:07pm

kgray99's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

kgray99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (272101) - you deserved it (17612)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#1564480
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18829) - you deserved it (43082)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by screamo (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, at work I grabbed some customer keys off the board. I was checking out their cool flashlight keychain. At the exact moment I realized it wasn't a keychain, I pepper sprayed myself directly in the right eye. FML

Today, I parked downtown for a few minutes to pick up a pizza. As I was getting out of my car, a sketchy guy came up and asked me for $5. I told him to get lost and walked away. I walked back to the lot with my pizza and my car was gone. The sketchy guy was a parking attendent. He had my car towed. FML

#1251625
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12205) - you deserved it (64218)

On 04/23/2009 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was going 73 in a 55 on a country road when an oncoming cop passed me. He pulled a U turn. I turned off the main road and took random turns. I got lost, was 30 minutes late to work, and the cop still found me and gave me two tickets. I had to ask him for directions. FML

#1021876
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10156) - you deserved it (87121)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:52pm - work - by TheBRADLeyB (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38604) - you deserved it (129654)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML

#553334
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70318) - you deserved it (7805)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by unloved (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML

#295386
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14106) - you deserved it (48817)

On 03/12/2009 at 11:42pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (265526) - you deserved it (48362)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
964 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73437) - you deserved it (427768)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (236350) - you deserved it (82025)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

#8687
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34261) - you deserved it (13287)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: