kezzi

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kezzi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 10 May 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1157
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kezzi's page activity

Visits<b>bps315</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:29pm<b>bri5083</b> - the 01/24/2012 at 7:53pm<b>paco1021</b> - the 12/06/2011 at 6:21pm<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 11/28/2011 at 4:13pm

kezzi's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of kezzi's badges

kezzi's favorite FMLs

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2012 at 10:59am / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

by me / 06/22/2012 at 3:28am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got to see a waterfall up close. Too bad it was in my bedroom. FML

by ducklover1 / 06/18/2012 at 11:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML

by davav74 / 06/15/2012 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

by Rosie / 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

by LaurenB / 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML

by Darwin_Award_Winner / 06/07/2012 at 8:10am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

by Scared / 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML

by anon / 05/31/2012 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 6:22am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous