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kezzi's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
kezzi's favorite FMLs
Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/23/2012 at 10:59am / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy
Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML
by me / 06/22/2012 at 3:28am / United States (Indiana) / Work
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals
by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by ducklover1 / 06/18/2012 at 11:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML
by davav74 / 06/15/2012 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation
by Rosie / 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
by LaurenB / 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by Darwin_Award_Winner / 06/07/2012 at 8:10am / United States (Texas) / Health
by Scared / 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by anon / 05/31/2012 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 6:22am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous