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About kewlstoribro : hahahaha all I've got to say is:
COOL STORY BRO!
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Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7560) - you deserved it (1249)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)
Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33154) - you deserved it (2574)
On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3244) - you deserved it (7581)
On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8045) - you deserved it (20356)
On 01/08/2012 at 8:51pm - love - by Tiana - United States
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37982) - you deserved it (33896)
On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I arrived home. I'd left for a business trip 5 days earlier, and trusted my husband with our young boys. As soon as I stepped in the door, I noticed my son had thinner hair than when I'd left. He then showed me an empty container of Nair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16056) - you deserved it (1848)
On 01/07/2012 at 7:50pm - kids - by ProudMama (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25113) - you deserved it (2808)
On 01/05/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by awesome - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10319) - you deserved it (1980)
On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, the girl I've had a crush on for years asked if I could be her "emergency gay friend". Worst part? I said yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18785) - you deserved it (15448)
On 12/04/2011 at 3:36am - love - by lifesucksbigtimefuys - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30444) - you deserved it (6859)
On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13841) - you deserved it (53861)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17934) - you deserved it (2950)
On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27331) - you deserved it (16139)
On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31342) - you deserved it (5120)
On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)
Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13880) - you deserved it (28970)
On 09/09/2011 at 12:04am - money - by Not_you17 - United States (Georgia)
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