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kewlkali

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kewlkali

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1085
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 36 posted

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kewlkali's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
529 comments

I agree, your life sucks (249840) - you deserved it (32394)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
451 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29176) - you deserved it (302620)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to get my hair chopped off for a role that I'm playing in a show. I was staring at the floor while the woman cut my hair, and I suddenly heard her start crying. Her tears were immediately followed by "It's okay! I have a friend in New York who can fix it. We won't charge you." FML

#267715
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75955) - you deserved it (3393)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my grandmother patched up my $300, vintage, limited edition, designer jeans because she thought I'd accidentally ripped them. FML

#203751
459 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37428) - you deserved it (83329)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:40am - money - by ch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1205415) - you deserved it (127182)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, in the middle of dinner, I went to rest my chin on my hand, missed, and stuck the straw from my drink straight up my nose. FML

#55148
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37670) - you deserved it (6923)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm - love - by EK (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10439) - you deserved it (122255)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had dinner on my own. My cat came and sat on the chair on the other side of the table. We stared at each other during the whole meal. Pathetic. FML

#4050
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31120) - you deserved it (4391)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by JulleandCici - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21173) - you deserved it (5694)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

#689
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22013) - you deserved it (7508)

On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version



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