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kewlkali

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kewlkali

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1491
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 43 posted

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kewlkali's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a substitute teacher for my dance class. I noticed at one point, he took out a camera. The principal came in, everyone was going crazy, and the teacher was dragged out of the classroom. He was taking videos and pictures of us dancing. Turns out he was a registered sex offender. FML

#1163738
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108844) - you deserved it (5165)

On 04/20/2009 at 7:05pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I was babysitting a five year old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML

#904176
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65001) - you deserved it (5981)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:07pm - kids - by boyfriendless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

#650213
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17415) - you deserved it (145165)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
533 comments

I agree, your life sucks (267235) - you deserved it (35529)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31453) - you deserved it (316021)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to get my hair chopped off for a role that I'm playing in a show. I was staring at the floor while the woman cut my hair, and I suddenly heard her start crying. Her tears were immediately followed by "It's okay! I have a friend in New York who can fix it. We won't charge you." FML

#267715
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79142) - you deserved it (3651)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my grandmother patched up my $300, vintage, limited edition, designer jeans because she thought I'd accidentally ripped them. FML

#203751
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40073) - you deserved it (87858)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:40am - money - by ch (woman) - United States (California)



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