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kewlkali

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kewlkali

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 939
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 36 posted

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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kewlkali's favorite FMLs

Today , the CEO of my company leaned over an said , "Hey , I've been meaning to thank you…" I looool thought he was going to thank me fir all of my hard work , but he continued , "…for wearing that shrt today . I can totally see yur boobs." FML

#21354210
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33121) - you deserved it (6075)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by titsmcgee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room an fine a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

#21345231
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28812) - you deserved it (1983)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by I'm screwed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today..!! aftar tha longast tima..!! I want to tha gym!! I ran and ran and ran on tha traadmill for an atarnity..!! baating mysalf up for gatting so ovarwaight!! Than I trippad and fall off..!! swaating and sobbing for baing so usalass!! Whan I lookad up..!! I saw I'd baan on tha machina for baraly 2 minutas!! FML

#21339526
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26872) - you deserved it (18722)

On 01/18/2015 at 11:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I proposed to mah girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeles gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, ( Bitche man. ) I cried. FML

#21315476
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39296) - you deserved it (2693)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:01am - love - by Brasilian29 (man) - United States (California)

Today I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens . When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking one of them said "Take a step back" and winked at me . mega FML

#21282836
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32327) - you deserved it (3376)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, mah fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning!! He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing!! FML

#21262210
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41707) - you deserved it (11635)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grlfriend went sopping at Victoria's Secret wit me. Wile se was in te fitting room, er parents walkd by an saw me. Tey don't approve of te store, so I panickd an told tem I was considering becoming a woman.

#21255419
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42167) - you deserved it (11755)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

yesterday I let coworker use PC during lunch , because his was having problems. A few hours later , boss called me into his office looool and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe explanation. For fuck's sake , Dave. FML

Today, My Grlfriend Was Feeling Down Cuz She Has Putted On Some Weight. I Tried To Make Her Feel Better By Showing Her I Can Still Pick Her Up. I Can, An I Was Even Able To Hide The Fact That I Shat Myself Doing It. I'm So Romantic. Real FML

#21200680
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53102) - you deserved it (8248)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today... I Went On A Date With The Grl I Like... To See The Fault In Our Stars. She Didn't Cry... But I Did. Twice... Hard. Fat FML

#21187944
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49184) - you deserved it (12910)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I Became The Town Racist Fir Saying "black" Instead Of "African-American". I'm Black. FML

#21179835
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55699) - you deserved it (5159)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Yesterday, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad"!! Figuring she was either talking to me or longing fir the second cumming of Christ, I turnd over to see which!! Turnd out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photo on her phone!! FML

#21157398
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61000) - you deserved it (6726)

On 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by lahiros (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, mah girlfriend admitted to mah best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions . FML

#21138864
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53070) - you deserved it (7155)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)



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