keoct

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keoct

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7159
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About keoct : “My favourites” are most of the ones I’ve posted on, not necessarily my favourites just commented on.

keoct's page activity

Visits<b>melons</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 5:33am<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 1:16pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 9:56pm<b>AlexaWuzHere</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 10:09pm<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 12:00am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 1:28pm<b>ap1217</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 5:20pm<b>SopranoRoses215</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 1:26am<b>monkeyforehead</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 1:31am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:11pm<b>Jenmic</b> - the 02/18/2011 at 3:16am<b>Person1233</b> - the 12/12/2010 at 2:05pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 12/03/2010 at 8:42pm<b>Cinn</b> - the 11/27/2010 at 10:27am<b></b> - the 10/23/2010 at 11:08pm<b>kittygirl24</b> - the 02/14/2010 at 12:27am<b>gingersnapper</b> - the 01/22/2010 at 8:25pm<b>ensemble_coeur</b> - the 01/22/2010 at 7:22pm

keoct's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of keoct's badges

keoct's favorite FMLs

Today, I was accused of shop-lifting by an old lady in a supermarket. Having proven myself innocent, I tried to storm off to show my displeasure at the situation. In my haste to make a dramatic exit, I tried to go out of the entrance and walked straight into the automatic door. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2010 at 6:05am / United Kingdom (Gwynedd) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML

by nurse / 11/03/2010 at 8:08am / Reserved / Work

Today, in art class, everybody was showing the paintings that we have been working on for weeks. Everyone was cheering and clapping. When mine came up, nobody clapped. FML

Today, it was my big sister's birthday, and I was told the iPod I ordered her online was not coming due to a mix up. I drove to three different electronic stores before I found the one she wanted. After spending forever in traffic, I came home to find a package on my doorstep. It was her iPod. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2010 at 12:09am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent all day handing out flyers advertising my services as a psychic. I got only one call. The caller wanted to inform me that I had misspelt the word "psychic" on my flyer. She was right. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 1:58am / United States / Work

Today, while at work, I was asked to see my boss. I was informed that the company would be laying off 20 people, and that I was one of them. I was told I could finish off the week, then was sent back to work. Twenty minutes later, my boss walked around and handed us all Christmas party invitations. FML

by robthebuilder / 10/26/2010 at 2:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, one of my coworkers called to remind me about the annual costume day at work this morning. I dressed as Pocahontas. There is no annual costume day. I was fired for dressing inappropriately in front of customers. FML

by pocahontas / 10/25/2010 at 9:47pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I returned from vacation. Because of rain, I spent 3 days sitting in a hotel room, watching a TV with bad reception. I'm now less relaxed that if I'd have just stayed home, because that wouldn't have cost me $500, and my TV has more than 15 channels. So much for my first vacation in 5 years. FML

by not_relaxed / 10/25/2010 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML

by condiments / 02/22/2010 at 4:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML

by lynn / 02/17/2010 at 1:30am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my grandma sent me a Valentine's Day card. For years she's been hinting at me to lose weight. The card: a picture of cookies on the front and a gym membership inside. FML

by bcca / 02/13/2010 at 9:22am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hit on by an older man. I rolled my eyes at him and informed him I was 16, hoping that would get him to leave me alone. He shrugged and said, "We're both human." FML

by creepster / 02/10/2010 at 8:39pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2010 at 3:29am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2010 at 3:04pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went for a job interview I scheduled 3 weeks ago. I spent $200 on a new suit to really impress them and practised like crazy every imaginable question they could ask. They already had filled the position 2 weeks ago and forgot to inform me. FML

by kristine29 / 02/03/2010 at 11:06am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous