kenoswild

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Offline (the 07/05/2015 at 5:01am)

kenoswild

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2038
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kenoswild's page activity

Visits<b>royallymessedup</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 2:28am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 9:44am<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 3:51pm<b>AnthriX95</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 2:07am<b>kayana153</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 4:59pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 11:58am<b>thethunderbolt</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 5:52pm<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 9:43pm<b>rhiannahoward14</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 1:29am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:03am<b>sevazilla</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 4:58pm<b>zombiekiller52</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 6:47am<b>caro1190</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:50am<b>RainbowxxVeinsx</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 8:34pm<b>oxythemoron</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:29pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:02am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:14am<b>Iwannabetreo</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 6:27am

Fucked!<b>kayana153</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:59pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 5:58pm

kenoswild's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kenoswild's badges

kenoswild's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2012 at 3:30am / Belgium / Kids

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

by bTOhno / 08/13/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

by Username / 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML

by MrOh / 08/09/2011 at 1:29pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

by Tim / 08/03/2011 at 3:40am / United States / Love

Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML

by Username / 08/02/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

by PizzaBoySwag / 06/04/2011 at 5:36am / United States (California) / Work

Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML

by trev / 05/30/2011 at 12:12pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML

by Username / 04/16/2011 at 1:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

by Danou / 03/28/2011 at 9:51am / Miscellaneous

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

by insomnitude / 03/05/2011 at 1:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cop laughed at me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 8:29am / United States (South Carolina) / Animals