About kendallhi : I'm Kendall. I love to talk, so message me anytime. Why can't pirates finish the alphabet?! BECAUSE THEY KEEP GETTING STUCK AT C (SEA).
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Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31539) - you deserved it (9281)
On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24521) - you deserved it (6481)
On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20929) - you deserved it (2118)
On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19195) - you deserved it (1404)
On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21499) - you deserved it (1839)
On 08/27/2011 at 7:06pm - misc - by Revalation - United States
Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33737) - you deserved it (6519)
On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (2429)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (2429)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using the "it's not you, it's me" speech with a slight variation, saying instead, "It's not me, it's you. And yes, I meant to say it that way round." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22912) - you deserved it (4234)
On 07/12/2011 at 3:14am - love - by Jackie Campbell - United States (Colorado)
Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19640) - you deserved it (31262)
On 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by kaplwv116 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75288) - you deserved it (10634)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24652) - you deserved it (107299)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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