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kelxdao

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kelxdao

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10673
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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kelxdao's page activity

Visits<b>thefredrick</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:16pm<b>grritsshay</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 11:20pm<b>OzzMonster</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 7:47pm<b>Jojohn0</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 4:41am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 5:00am<b>coried91</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 11:01pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 2:29pm<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 8:32am<b>BFons</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 12:17pm<b>tatertot1985</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 3:16pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:37am<b>pianoman348</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 12:02am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 4:47pm<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 7:30pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 10:42am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 9:08am<b>TedNg</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 2:18am<b>tartar18</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 4:04pm

kelxdao's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of kelxdao's badges

kelxdao's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17153) - you deserved it (1897)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I missed my bus. But it didn't miss me. I've been in the hospital for 8 hours with a broken leg. FML

#21413750
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18418) - you deserved it (1274)

On 05/21/2015 at 9:55pm - money - by FrickingBusDrivers (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23235) - you deserved it (2085)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

Today, I got my driver's license. My dad made multiple copies of his insurance cards for me to give to people when I inevitably hit them. Because "Let's face it." FML

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

#21410667
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29126) - you deserved it (1988)

On 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my little sister knocking on my door. Today's my birthday, so I thought she'd surprise me with something. Instead, she just asked me, "How's it feel to be a year older and still alone?" I just turned 20. The truth hurts. FML

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31422) - you deserved it (6936)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML

Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML

#21409137
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23635) - you deserved it (3015)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:33pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while waitressing, I served a family with a little girl who was wearing a Frozen shirt. I told her I'm friends with Elsa and that she taught me to sing. The girl asked me to sing a song, so I did. Not even 5 seconds in, she started bawling. FML

#21408927
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26586) - you deserved it (10690)

On 05/12/2015 at 12:38pm - kids - by NotAPrincess - United States (California)

Today, I spent nearly two hours listening to our cleaning lady talking about her son's infected penis, her fear of dentists, how to catch and kill ducks, her husband's childhood and her supposedly murdered dog. She ended up crying and left without cleaning. FML

#21406339
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27626) - you deserved it (2952)

On 05/07/2015 at 5:56pm - misc - by Martine624 - Netherlands

Today, I got screamed at to the point of tears by a Starbucks employee for "giving an obviously fake name" to confuse one of the employees. I told her my real name. My name is Ian. FML

#21404461
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31638) - you deserved it (2342)

On 05/04/2015 at 12:28pm - misc - by to_complicated_4_u - United States (New York)

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

#21397916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29732) - you deserved it (2100)

On 04/22/2015 at 11:44am - work - by cock blocked (man) - United States (California)



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