kelxdao

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Offline (the 05/04/2016 at 1:34am)

kelxdao

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17207
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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kelxdao's page activity

Visits<b>dantee2005</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:12am<b>thefredrick</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:16pm<b>grritsshay</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 11:20pm<b>OzzMonster</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 7:47pm<b>Jojohn0</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 4:41am<b>coried91</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 11:01pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 2:29pm<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 8:32am<b>BFons</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 12:17pm<b>tatertot1985</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 3:16pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:37am<b>pianoman348</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 12:02am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 4:47pm<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 7:30pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 10:42am<b>TedNg</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 2:18am<b>tartar18</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 4:04pm<b>euphoricness</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 3:40pm

kelxdao's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of kelxdao's badges

kelxdao's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed my cat was making a loud weezing noise when trying to breathe, so I rushed him to the vet's. $250.00 worth of tests later, he's fine. Just really fat. FML

by just-a-fat-cat / 05/02/2016 at 11:25pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, I want on a date with a man I met on the internet. While talking over drinks, I asked him what he did for a living. He said he was a salesman, and that he's really good at it. Interested, I asked him what it was he sold. "Cannabis." FML

by socksxox / 05/02/2016 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I met my birth father for the first time. The first thing he told me was that if I ever get arrested, I should give him a call so his guys on the inside can look after me. I don't think there's going to be a second meeting. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother showed me a picture of a dog in need of a home. Excitedly, I asked if we were getting it, having wanted one for a few months now. She said, 'No. I'm not even sure why I showed you." FML

by AnnaMuffin / 04/26/2016 at 6:08pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Animals

Today, I overheard a "friend" talking about me and my recently deceased dog. He said: "Only time I've seen someone get that upset over someone dying, they were fucking each other. Just sayin'." FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 2:50pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2016 at 3:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé's mom was driving me to the store to pick up my wedding dress. A few minutes into the drive, she said the car's tank was nearly out of "Jews" and that she'd have to give it "a whole lotta gas", then chuckled to herself. She's well aware that I'm Jewish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 2:01am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally had to accept that I have feelings for a very cute and funny guy. It wouldn't be so bad if he weren't my brother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 1:56pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, on a train, a little boy and girl come up to me and ask how babies are made. Already pretty uncomfortable with their question, their mother suddenly appears and says, "Go on, tell them!" FML

by Anthony / 04/14/2016 at 7:15pm / France / Intimacy

Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:13am / United States / Health

Today, while opening up to a few friends about how I was sexually abused as a child, one of them blurted "Pics or it didn't happen." How did the others react? With outrage? No, just with awkward chuckling. FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2016 at 10:04am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new neighbor offered to "humanely capture and relocate" the squirrels in my attic. He then "humanely" shot at them with a BB gun, and the "relocated" them into his stomach once they were killed. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

by sigh / 04/12/2016 at 10:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML

by John_Elvis / 04/08/2016 at 11:30pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my 12 and 14 year olds told me they'll be doing whatever they like from now on and there will be no rules or bedtime, otherwise they'll tell their teachers that my husband and I abuse them. Where did I go wrong? FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2016 at 5:43pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 4:21pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work